Current mood:

blank

Time may change me, but I cant trace time.


In the most inexplicable two days of my entire life, everything has managed to change and leave me mostly alone...or just in a really really awful mood.

Ivan mirrored me, telling me that he needed me at the Grind ASAP. I got there. Patrick's Stupefied...everyone is glaring at me with one of THOSE looks...and Ivan is being a drama queen and ignoring me. Turns out the two got into a barfight over...well me, I suppose...and Patrick ended up getting the worst bit. Pat's ex was there, she even managed to say something nasty to me on her way out. I wanted to stay and grill Ivan a bit before going to Mungo's with Pat, but we ended up going home and talking for hours. Talking and coming to terms with ourselves as a "thing". Of course I knew he was too drunk to even realize what he was implying, but then the next morning we talked about it again and he's relatively serious about me. You can imagine my shock. I'm going to have to talk to Paige about all of this. Half of me is really happy and the other have is just really skeptical still.

Either way I went to Mungo's to see Patrick that morning. I waited...he woke up and felt well enough to berate Ivan. I think it was at that point where I realized that our marriage was truly over. I just can't take it anymore. If he loved me, he let me go without a fight. Then he makes things worse by attacking everyone I'm close to. I can't grow, he still hasn't, and the newsflash of the year is that my feelings for him have actually started to go sour. I asked for a divorce, he blew up on me and accused me of sleeping with half of the population of Britain, Darius, Rhodes, and Ivan included. Surprise surprise. Not my strongest hour, I have to admit, but it's over. OVER over. I ran into Maximus in the hall on my way out- but like actually crashed into him because I was so furious and probably too deluded to see where I was going. We went out for coffee, which ended up turning into three drinks, which ended up being a really really bad idea.

Men are impossible. I would rant about it, but just having Darius in my life excludes some. Noting that, I really need to see him. It's been a while and I know he's going to help me put everything into perspective. Paige and I need to go on our vacation NOW. Before the rest of England comes out to get me.